told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
