My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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