I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
