It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
