I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
