similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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