i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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