is your mom at the bar?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
