we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
