school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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