I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
