Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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