You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
