guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
