Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
