Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
