I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
