Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I got inside last night via doggy door
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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