What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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