Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
