I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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