I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize