I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
