you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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