..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
