Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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