doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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