if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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