hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
