I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
