You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize