Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Someone shit on the floor
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
