I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
