After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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