Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
