I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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