This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
