We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Boobs speak an international language.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
