Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
