I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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