I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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