He had one of those small greek statue penises
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
