I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The air taste purple.
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