FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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