yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
