even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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