I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
