I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Acid is not a monday night drug
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
