I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
