we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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