Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
