They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my shit smells like andre
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
