I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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