There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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