So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
