is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
