Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
