yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
