Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
