how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
